Jack Gleason Jr

- Real Kill Media BLOG

New Job - Bookstore Manager


I am in a phase of my life where I need to start the fuck over. I love to read so I figure why the hell don’t I work at a bookstore. So, I applied to be a bookseller at this corner bookstore in NYC.

During the interview the General Manager upon seeing my massive management experience insists that I take a management position. She further stated that I should be paid $2 more per hour than the other manger in my position because of said experience. Needless to say, I accepted the position.

I have to work 45 hours per week on a three shift rotating management schedule. That is all code for no weekends off. But, its a fresh start and will keep me busy.

The last thing I need right now is too much free time to feel sorry for myself and think about “whats her name”.

First day of work I discover that the Assistant General Manager (AGM) is ten years younger than me and a complete idiot. To make matters worse she is a fat lazy piece of shit. I noticed right away that unless it is time for her to eat or take a piss she will not get off of her fat disgusting ass and work. This is going to be a problem.

The other manager, who is at an equal level to me (Co-Manger) is 15 years younger than me. I see her bend over to pick up something and her Walmart t-shirt lifts up from the back and reveals the worst tramp-stamp tattoo I have ever seen. I over hear her tell the AGM that she has to go to the bathroom because she is having some kind of discharge from her pussy that looks like cottage cheese. Oh my fucking God, what have I gotten myself into?

I finally get home from work and my feet are killing me. Wearing dress shoes while walking around on carpet glued over cement is murder on my arches. I dump half a box of epsom salt in the bath tub and fill it with as much hot water as I can stand. I strip and get in the water and turn on the jacuzzi jets and try an relax.

I must have fallen asleep and when I woke up the jets were still going but the water was cold as fuck.

I am not sure what is going to happen at work tomorrow. But I have a feeling it is going to suck massive balls. Stay tuned...

Jack Gleason, Jr.
New York, NY

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I don't know her anymore

I don’t know her anymore. Has she changed? Maybe, I have changed. Perhaps, she never was the person that I thought that she was. I believe that the person that you are with says a lot about who you are as a person. The person that she chose to be with makes her be a little less awesome. I despise superficial people. I can’t stand the type of girl who would be attracted to the “Magic Mike” type of guy.

Because, one day the looks will fade and then what will you be left with?

Also, this person may have ripped abs but are they interesting on the inside? Anyone who would be attracted to that type of person must have something broken with them on the inside. You know the type of girl who thinks a construction guy is hot. The type of girl who would read “Fifty Shades of Grey”. The type of girl who would be, remotely attracted, to the athletic muscle guy. This type of girl must have something broken with them on the inside.

These type of couples always live hard lives. They are always struggling in one way or another. I find them both sad and unattractive.

I want to be with someone who pushes me intellectually. Someone who is not just into geeky things but is a nerd. There is a BIG difference. Someone who is well read and traveled. Someone who I am attracted to on the inside. Someone who I can lay on a blanket with on the grass and we look up at the stars at night and wonder together what could be. Love, to me, doesn’t have to be quick or cheap or easy.

Why did she choose to be with someone like him?

Many of months have now passed since she left my life. I know that in that time I have changed and so has she.

Jack Gleason, Jr.
New York NY

Nobody Cares about YOU and your Facebook Status updates!


Really, stupid motherfuckers? You have to update your Facebook “timeline” with every single event that takes place in your pathetic sorry fucking life.

What is this high school, asshole! Nobody gives a shit that a 28 year old is “in a relationship”. What are you next going to fucking post an update that you're going “steady” now too?

You are a selfish, insecure asshole. All you think about is yourself and whats best for you. What about thinking about someone other than yourself for once in your sorry miserable excuse for a life.

It’s shit like this that makes me want to give up on Facebook all together.

Here is a news flash, fuck face, NOBODY GIVES A SHIT. Be a fucking adult. Grow the hell up. Here is an idea? Why don’t you go out and get a real job instead of the minimum wage job you have. Get a real fucking life and stay the fuck off of my Facebook.

If it is not fat ass Walmart lovers getting me pissed off its stupid motherfuckers updating stupid shit on there Facebook. What the fuck!

There is so much more that I could say, but I am restraining myself. (trust me)

Take this as your notice that I am un-friending and blocking all stupid motherfuckers from my Facebook. If you see that you have been unfriended, then know, yep, I was talking about you, ASSHOLE!

Waisting my life with this stupid shit.

Why do people feel the need to “give a press conference” about things that go on in there lives? Are you so much of a narcissist that you think anyone really cares? Trust me, THEY DON’T!

If someone wants to know if you are single or not shouldn’t they just fucking ASK YOU? Have a conversation with people... It’s a new concept.

#Facebook, #Narcissist, #InsecureAssholes, #GetaJob, #LoserBoyfriends,

Jack Gleason, Jr.
New York, NY
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True Love Has No Ending


Life would be so much easier if you could just pick the person that you wanted to fall in love with. As it happens though, loves does not work that way. You can’t plan to fall in love. Love just happens. Sometimes it can happen all of a sudden, other times it can take a while. But, make no mistake about it. Love is not planned.

I have been studying the subject of “true love” for the past couple months. It has been an interesting learning experience for me. Love is a combination of emotions and feelings but it is still so much more than that.

Nothing can stop true love. Much like the blade of grass that somehow fights its way through sidewalks and asphalt to get to the sun, the same can be said about true love. If God will’s it then it cannot be stopped. How does it work and when does it happened? These questions are some of earths eternal mysteries. I know love can be frustrating but alas, love just happens when it happens and in its own time frame. Love is so unpredictable.

Often times when true loves happens the timing couldn’t be worse. It can be super-complicated and painful. But if it is true love, you will make it through the valley and onto the high mountain top. You just can’t ever give up. True love never quits.

I remember the story told to me when I was a boy about the man who would throw in the towel and quit every night. But, when the man would wake up the next morning the towel that he had threw in, had been washed, pressed and folded neatly at the end of his bed for him to pick back up again. You see when the man threw in the towel, the towel was caught in the air by true love, or his one true love. She is the one who washed, pressed and folded the towel as her true love slept. The same store can also be true when the girl is the one who throws in the towel and her one true loves caught it and prepared it for her the next morning. True love is a beautiful thing.

Nowhere in the Bible does God say that true love would be easy. He only said that it would be worth it in the end. The person who finishes the race and finishes the course will get the prize in the end, and it will be worth it. The prize is worth winning! Isn’t this fantastic news? Yesterday, I threw in the towel. But, this morning I woke up and picked up my towel again. Yesterday, I saw no hope. Today, I believe again. Someone said, that it is always darkest before the dawn. And so it can be with true love.

There can be no light unless there is also darkness. There can be no darkness unless there is also light. So, if we are going through darkness right now, then rejoice! Again, I say rejoice! Rejoice, because if you are going through darkness then you are not long for the light. The light is coming in the morning. Rejoice, because the morning is not far now.

I know at times it seems that you are in the darkest place there has ever been. I know it seems as though all hope has been lost. I know it may seem that you are having to endure the worst suffering ever in the history of time. But, know this. When you are in the lowest moments you are also but a moment away from your mountain. The Devil is a liar. He will try and convince you that you have lost everything. That you are a failure. That nobody loves you. That nobody has ever loved you. That everyone would be better if you were gone. But, this can never be true. Why? Because true love, can never fail.

It’s a fixed race. You are guaranteed the victory before you even start your race. You don’t have to fear anything, when true love is on your side. With true love, it is not possible to fail. You can pour concrete over the top of your lawn. But, that grass will find a way to keep growing in spit of incredible obstacles. I don’t believe anyone but God know how it works, but it just does.

I give up on something at least once, and sometimes more than that, each day that I live. But, each morning when I awake, I have found that my strength was in fact renewed in the morning. My towel was washed, pressed and folded for me while I slept.

Sure, you can be throw in the towel for many days in a row. But, if it is true love, it will always be waiting there for you.

We should also appreciate and take great care not to abuse or take for granted, true love. True love needs to feel valued and appreciated. True love needs to be protected and guarded, less you be tricked and deceived by the wicked one and robbed of your prize.

You should value your true love so much that you are willing to do anything for them. We should always value true love more than ourselves. True love is kind, when you need a gentle hand. But, it can be harsh, when you need to need protected. True love is always there to protect you, less you dash your foot against a stone. True love will always catch you when you fall.

In my own journey with true love I am in a waiting stage. I am gaining more patience with my true love, every day. I believe that morning is not far off. My mountain is just around the next corner. Just up ahead is the victory and it is just there waiting for me to come.

My true love, will be worth all that I have willingly suffered for it.

Somebody was praying for me last night and today. I could feel it. Whoever you are, thank you.

Jack Gleason, Jr.
New York, NY

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Cry Me A River


I didn’t have a good day today. I was mostly depressed all day. I am still coming to grips with everything that has happened to me over the past six weeks. I still am completely shellshocked. My brain hurts from thinking about everything that happened to me. I wish it was something that I could snap my fingers and move on from, but I can’t. The way my brain works is I need time to process things. This is especially true when I have to process really bad news. It just takes time. I know when I am going through this type of process it is very difficult for the people in my life.

Being perfectly honest, suicidal thoughts are starting to consume me throughout each day now. I just feel like a complete failure in every aspect of my life. I feel like I have let everyone down that cares about me. Maybe I am being overly needy right now. I am hurting so bad that my body aches all the time. I don’t have a purpose in my life anymore. In order for my brain to work I have to have something to fight for. I have to have someone to love. I want to feel loved and appreciated. I need to be needed. I think this may be what my problem is. I don’t feel needed. Everyone has everything figured out, and they do not need any help from me. It is so frustrating.

I feel like I am in the way and I am becoming a burden. I can hear Daddy’s voice in my head telling me to pull myself up by my boot straps and to keep going. He would also say, that there is no step for a stepper and you, my son, are a stepper. You can do this. Don’t give up.

I am trying so hard not to let Daddy down. I wish he were still alive so I could call and ask his advice about my present situation. He was always the best listener. He always had the time to talk to me no matter what he was doing, he always made me feel like I was important to him.

I do believe in prayer. I can always tell when someone is praying for me. I can also tell when someone is praying against me. It took me many years to understand these differences. But, when Daddy was still living I could feel his prayers for me every day. I could feel the power of God surrounding me, guiding me, protecting me. But, since he passed away, I can also feel that no one is out there praying for me throughout each day. If ever there was a saint, to me, it was Daddy. I miss him so much.

It is ironic because just a few short weeks ago my phone would ring, almost non-stop, throughout each day. Associates and peers would call me at all hours asking my advice, and needing my help with a problem. For the past six years I was considered the very best person at my job and had rising star status as the next leader of the company. It’s funny how so much can change, almost overnight. I am still the same person that I have always been, its just that I was made to be the fall guy and I willingly fell on my sword to protect the people above me. If I could go back in time, I would have made a different outcome. But, time moves on. We can’t look back only forward. This is the hard part, I know.

My phone and my life have grown eerily quite. My phone hardly ever rings anymore. When I used to text someone six week ago, I always got an immediate reply. Now, no matter who I text, I do not get a reply for hours, if at all. Everyone has moved on with there lives and are consumed with new important things. Things that do not involve me. I just want somebody to listen to me. I just want someone to hold me and not say anything. Just hug me. Maybe I just need a hug. I want someone to say. Man, thats bullshit what happened to you. I am so sorry.

Cry me a river, I know. Poor me...

Jack Gleason, Jr.
New York, NY

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When Harry Met Sally


It is a hard life being single. It is even harder when you fall in love with someone who is in love with someone else. But, alas, life does go on. At this point in time all I can do is wait and see what happens. If it was indeed true love then she will come back to me, if not then it was not true love after all. But, I know it was and I wait...

I went for another walk today this time not through Central Park but through the Theatre District and around Times Square. New York City is such a beautiful place. So many different cultures all coming together in one place. New Yorkers have no patience for nonsense. The best advise I can give you is to keep your eyes in front of you and keep moving.

I saw a lot of pissed off tourists bitching about the government shutdown and they paid all this money for a vacation only to be told that the Statue of Liberty is closed. Bad luck for these people who planned and saved for a fall vacation only to be disappointed. It reminds me of the movie “Vacation” with Chevy Chase. Where he drives his family to a west coast vacation only to arrive at Wally World to discover, that it to, was closed. And Clark Griswold (the character that Chevy placed in the movie) went nuts and kidnapped a security guard and well you can rent the movie.

The point is there are a lot of disappointed vacationers in New York City the past few weeks. Oh well, there is plenty else to do in this city. The theater district is hopping with business. The restaurants are full. There was a store near Times Square that was taking tourists photos in front of a green screen and then making it look like the photograph was taken in front of the Statue of Liberty. People were paying $30 a pop for his services. That guy is the only person who is happy about the government shutdown, I am sure.

I was starting to get hungry and looked up and I noticed that I was only a couple blocks away from Katz's Delicatessen. This is the famous restaurant where they filmed that hilarious scene in the movie “When Harry Met Sally”. They make one hell of a rueben sandwich, let me tell you. It takes a minute to get a table but it is well worth the wait. After you order and sit down the server brings you a heaping plate of speared dill pickles to snack on while you wait. On the walls are hundreds of photographs with the owner and every celebrity that has eaten there. You name the celebrity and they are on the wall. Eat here, the next time you are in the city. Trust me on this.

Over near where the Ed Sullivan Theatre is located there is the famous Soup Nazi location. His soup was made famous in the TV show, “Seinfeld”. He still works and serves the soup to every customer. And he is just like the character in the show. A real asshole, but he makes the best soup in the city. The Soup Nazi has always been really cool to me but I see him fuck with the tourists all the time. It’s hilarious when he gets pissed off and says, “That’s it, NO SOUP FOR YOU. Get out of my line.” Truly, the funniest thing ever.

I saw a group of kids, who looked like they were skipping school today, ride past me on skateboards and they had 3D Video cameras attached to there helmets. Another one of them had his camera attached to some kind of walking stick and he was recording under things. I saw him shoot under some ladies dresses as he went by. There is an asshole in every group. My Daddy always said that there was a squirrel in every tree. That kid was the asshole/squirrel in that group, or at least one of them.

So this is my life, at the moment. Just trying to get through each day. I try and not stress about the bad shit in my life. I am just keep myself busy, as best that I can. I really need to work out. I have gained like 10 pounds in the past month. I do not want to turn into a fat ass so I need to work on moving more and eating less the rest of this week. But, that is a topic for another day.

What are you up to?

Jack Gleason, Jr.
New York, NY

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Central Park


I went for a stroll through Central Park today. The leaves are starting to turn and they have all of the fountains ready for winter. I saw a mother walking with her young son. It looked like something out of a Norman Rockwell painting. There was an older gentleman sitting on the park bench reading the days newspaper while he smoked a cigar. He was mumbling under his breath about the government shutdown.

There was a young couple out for a jog and they had their dog running with them. The dog looked like he was enjoying himself. They probably live in a small apartment somewhere nearby. The dog probably enjoys this time out of the house to run.

I also saw a couple mounted police offices ride by. Those horses they ride are very cool to watch as they clop with elegance by my perch.

Central Park is very interesting. While you are in the middle of a very well kept park you can still hear the busy city sounds nearby. You are quickly reminded that you are really not anywhere remote.

Across the park I can barely see Strawberry Fields and the apartment complex where John Lennon lived and was assassinated. Yoko Ono turned that spot where they would often walk in Central Park into a meditation and prayer garden. There is a really cool mosaic made out of the Imagine peace symbol. This is directly across from the apartment building where he died. It is an eerie spot, to be sure.

Paul McCartney is in town this week to promote his new solo album. I was listening to him being interviewed by Howard Stern this morning. It made me think of The Beatles and this spot in Central Park. Paul’s music has never been better. His voice is still wonderful.

Central Park is one thing that the City of New York has done right. Everything about it is just wonderful. It is a nice place to come when you need a short break from the hustle and bustle of the city.

Jack Gleason, Jr.
New York, NY

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